Re: Life sucks when ...

Sucks when after three years your girlfriend slash live-in partner no longer is into you and you have to learn how to see her 'only as a friend'.

I wish I could kill my emotions.

You were just a damn sequencer
Moving to the beat
Living with a synthesizer
Cold as a repeat

2,027

Re: Life sucks when ...

That's harsh


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Re: Life sucks when ...

It's been an ongoing situation since June. Time after time I've fooled myself into believing it will get better. She's diagnosed with depression while I'm only beginning to unlock all the things I've kept inside me for years and years.

I feel I need someone to share the space so I can function. She feels she can't breathe, needs to be alone and she hasn't felt anything romantical towards me for God knows how long - this whole year just has been a major fuck up.

We still share a bed, but I'm waiting (and fearing) for the day she will shut the door behind her. I hate to throw away a good friendship since she's among the very few I can deeply connect with, but it's absolutely absurd not to love her. To snap your fingers and change the way you feel?

You were just a damn sequencer
Moving to the beat
Living with a synthesizer
Cold as a repeat

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Re: Life sucks when ...

That is a major bummer, Henri sad Depression is so destructive, it takes away all your feelings and leaves you with nothing. People think it's just "being super sad" but it's not, it literally kills of any positive feelings about anything, especially your relationships with people, and the future in general. I hope she gets the help she needs and that things work out for you.

Re: Life sucks when ...

Thanks Techni...

I just received an e-mail from the landlord that my girlfriend (I don't even know what to call her anymore) has dismissed her part of the rental contract...

It just feels that everything is crumbling down mentally and financially. Feeling utterly alone. Bitter. Sad. Angry.

I have an appointment for a doctor since I haven't felt mentally ok in ages myself either. Right now it's very hard to see up and beyond all this.

You were just a damn sequencer
Moving to the beat
Living with a synthesizer
Cold as a repeat

Re: Life sucks when ...

Ouch. It does sound like she means business. sad
There's no shame in admitting that these things hit you like a bus in the face. If you've built a life together for the past years, it's not a minor adjustment to part ways, or whatever this is. It's gonna hurt. Definitely a good idea to see someone about it. It makes it easier to get perspective on things and snap out of the subjective for a while. Examine all possible ways to cope with the situation, and see which ones work for you. Self reflection is important, but try not to play the blame game, blaming yourself or her won't get you anywhere regardless if someone really is to blame. And try not to get sucked down in the depression spiral, bc those things can take a long time work yourself out of.

Re: Life sucks when ...

I appreciate your words greatly Technicolor.

If anything, I'm ashamed of the way I'm feeling. It's not healthy - especially how frustrated and downright mad I am at the moment. Really can't think of a way to start unraveling all this. I still refuse to see we're not a couple and yet I'm wondering where the hell she is at the moment so I can ask face to face why didn't she tell me about dismissing the contract. Probably because I would've started crying, she would've felt sorry for me and stayed... Same old story. The idea of us being together, sharing, caring just keeps spinning in my head and the more I think of it, the more it hurts.

I really need to get perspective on things and not only on this, but on how and why I am way too focused on living inside my head.

I've ended up playing the blame card numerous times. When you don't think so highly of yourself, all you can see is how you should've been smarter, more handsome, more open-minded, more this and that. On the other hand I'm asking her "why in the hell you had to go and do this?"

I'm only lying if I'm to say it will be easy to get out of this.

You were just a damn sequencer
Moving to the beat
Living with a synthesizer
Cold as a repeat

2,033

Re: Life sucks when ...

major crap. my sympathies and i'm quite sure you will get immediate help from the doctors if you ask. my significant other went through a difficult time this year and the state shrinks really helped her to get back up, in spite of our prejudices towards them.

2,034

Re: Life sucks when ...

my sympathies to you henri... it sounds like a real tough situation.
i hope things work out for the both of you.
in a split up situation myself at the moment
and it hurts like hell. love is the best and the worst.

hug


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Re: Life sucks when ...

Always rooting for you Henri!

2,036

Re: Life sucks when ...

Sorry Henri.  I don't know what you're feeling as I'm building my first meaningful relationship, but I've had my heart broken before and I'm not looking forward to it happening again sad

2,037

Re: Life sucks when ...

When you go to mcdonalds and you get diarrhea. You wait at home  while n u feel better. Then you go to a friends party, drink a few, eat some space cake, and you go to the bathroom. You fart, and 250g of crap appear in your underpants.

I took off my undies and,washed them n the sink. I fortunately found a heated rail to dry the pants under a towel. After a few hours they were dry fortunately.

I have never felt such shame, even though no body knew about it.

2,038

Re: Life sucks when ...

reminds me of when I pissed my pants standing in front of the toilet.  was so drunk and high and couldn't unzip fast enough.  yours is worse though.  I'm glad nobody found out at least

2,039

Re: Life sucks when ...

Ah the infamous 'Shart'....part shit-part fart, still at least you did it in the sanctuary of the bathroom.....not while mid-conversation with someone, and have to waddle off to the bathroom.

The horror,...still cracking me up right enough big_smile

Let's get Dumb

2,040

Re: Life sucks when ...

Thank the robots that i was in the bathroom, if it would have happened while sitting on the sofa, oh man, can't even imagine  yikes

2,041

Re: Life sucks when ...

LOL
oh, I'm so sorry. . .

.."this world`s a bubble"..

2,042

Re: Life sucks when ...

Too drunk to make it home one night. Stayed at friends' place. Early morning piss.. no problem so far. While sitting on toilet brain noticed my crapped pants. Summer dry already. Looking like someone had put a large brown paste in my undies. Fango!? Must have been 'sharting' all night long. Infamous! Very soon after that I was playing football in the park.  big_smile

Definitely understand the shame although no one noticed. Never told anyone although still harmless.

Does this need an extra thread? It's quite funny.. Even a very special song came to my mind while writing.

Tuō Men Xiōng Hǎopéngyou..

2,043

Re: Life sucks when ...

How do I keep on talking myself out of jobs?.....I've just put the phone down on a guy, and instead of bigging myself up, putting myself forward, as the right candidate....my crippled self confidence, says no, no you can't sad

Let's get Dumb

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2,044

Re: Life sucks when ...

DumbBot wrote:

How do I keep on talking myself out of jobs?.....I've just put the phone down on a guy, and instead of bigging myself up, putting myself forward, as the right candidate....my crippled self confidence, says no, no you can't sad

self criticism is vital for development, but you need to balance it with self assurance. too much of either is counter productive. i've been focusing on criticism too much myself lately. sad to think of all that energy misdirected.

2,045

Re: Life sucks when ...

I'm just not giving myself a chance, my whole approach to returning this guys call was already fail...rather than thinking there was a genuine opportunity to grasp. I'm too honest about my short comings, and frankly this negative merry-go-round in my head is a long term issue....and self assurance & positivity have never been in my mindset, that's an alien concept.

I am raging with myself,..,

Let's get Dumb

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Re: Life sucks when ...

DumbBot wrote:

I'm just not giving myself a chance, my whole approach to returning this guys call was already fail...rather than thinking there was a genuine opportunity to grasp. I'm too honest about my short comings, and frankly this negative merry-go-round in my head is a long term issue....and self assurance & positivity have never been in my mindset, that's an alien concept.

I am raging with myself,..,

Cyclical thinking can be a hard thing to snap. Maybe next time you have to talk on the phone for a job try putting on a song quietly in the background that makes you feel awesome while you listen to it.  cool It might make it easier to hype yourself up, I don't know! Just a random idea.

2,047

Re: Life sucks when ...

We all have our shortcomings and frankly nobody is the correct candidate for anything. It's all about acting like you know and asking question regularly i.e. showing interest. Its also ok to say 'i do not know this' to some things as it builds trust. Maybe not helpful, but when i realized this, i began to feel more at ease with myself.

Last edited by heifetz (2014-12-17 05:49:14)


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Re: Life sucks when ...

Henri Puolitaival wrote:

Sucks when after three years your girlfriend slash live-in partner no longer is into you and you have to learn how to see her 'only as a friend'.

I wish I could kill my emotions.

Sympathies. I got divorced 2/3 years ago after 7 years of ups and downs in the married life. Starting to feel like I am putting my life back together finally. Courage my friend! Do not kill your emotions but don't let them get in the way too much.

To lighten the mood let me share with you my sharting experience:

Dunkin Donuts ice coffee + (everything bagel + cream cheese) = reliable shart recipe (or brown lightning as I like to call it)

Don't drive and eat the above recipe. I sharted while pushing 80mph on highway ... very inconvenient, could not check but I knew this was something new. I had to find the nearest exit and drive back home pronto to confirm what I felt and then shower and then change. Never again *shakes fist*

2,049

Re: Life sucks when ...

Rather alarmed at the number of robots confessing to shitting their pants... lol

Let's get Dumb

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Re: Life sucks when ...

Marco Tulio Thrash wrote:
Henri Puolitaival wrote:

Sucks when after three years your girlfriend slash live-in partner no longer is into you and you have to learn how to see her 'only as a friend'.

I wish I could kill my emotions.

Sympathies. I got divorced 2/3 years ago after 7 years of ups and downs in the married life. Starting to feel like I am putting my life back together finally. Courage my friend! Do not kill your emotions but don't let them get in the way too much.

Since my previous update, things have escalated up to the point where I'm now living alone, trying to get back up. So far I feel it's been one step forward, two steps back kind of a thing. I think my need to be with someone comes from the fact that when I'm with myself, it's nearly impossible for me to find ways to keep my head quiet. It's just a constant flood of thoughts and since they are mostly negative ones, it's like I'm my own worst enemy. I hope I could get on firmer ground so I could channel all this into music. Everything's too hazy at the moment.

All the best to all of you dealing with similar issues.

I would choose shitting my pants over love any day.

You were just a damn sequencer
Moving to the beat
Living with a synthesizer
Cold as a repeat