the broken hearts club (Page 1 of 10)

facebook was the reason she dumped you in the first place

it's harsh but you've got hear it sooner or later

I want to help but I don't really know what to say.  I think just finding a group of people to talk with in person will help.  You've got to quit lookin at her facebook though... hopefully you can take some precautions against it and also find some distractions for yourself.  advice sucks though... you really do need to talk it out

Yea and i've talked this pretty much through as much as i possibly can in this time, i even took some therapy (5 free sessions paid by my workplace yesss).

I'm not sure if i really have anything new to say about this stuff, at least at the moment. The conversation at the other thread just spread so much that i thought it would be a good idea to spawn a dedicated thread, as there are also very serious stuff happening to people and it kinda makes me feel a bit dorky to complain about some girl over someones fatal disease (even tough heartaches can be very very very devastating too).

So please do share if some one broke your heart or cpu and tell us how are you going on.

And yes, that's what i've been striving to do, but it's the effin' weekends after 2, and this time 3 days of boozing and circling around parties ad bars and places that make me feel lonely and think all day about my ex.
I'ts hard to pick up anyone because as i said, ive become really picky after her, but maybe i just need to temporarily lower my standrds and just hunt for some casual something. (i really dont know if that's a good idea either..)

And ytz, no, it wasn't facebook, it was her inability to love anyone continuously for more that few months, probably rooting down to her bipolar disorder.

And i'm sorry if i'm repeating myself. It's not intended.

Last edited by Fossa (2011-04-25 11:16:23)

Oh no not The Beatles. They remind me of my ex, haha.

Have you felt if it had any help? I've thought that a lot. I've had some numbers to call to but for some reason when I'm picking up the phone, I think am I just overreacting or that people have bigger issues and that I can fight my way through this on my own. I don't know who am I trying to fool when I'm still trapped after all this time.

In a way I think that the issue that has been there as the topmost thing, the one that has been bothering me above all has been the break-up without a doubt, but probably the impossibility for me to get over with suggests that there's something more. How I felt so insecure and uncertain about myself even when we were together and how I became possessive and jealous were all signs that I should've taken some kind of a control over those things way before and way earlier until it was too late for me to even realize how it affected.

I've learned a lot. The first time I've really tried to get a hold of myself and live independently was when she moved out. She forced me to face the reality and of course that has been the positive side in all this. But also after that my life hasn't been nothing but contrasts and contradicts - a struggle to find the balance. It's pretty much the same; within a day I can go from feeling that life's full of possibilities and nothing can stop me to just sitting on a couch, staring at the wall thinking that what there really is to look forward to? We had a number of plans and dreams to share with my ex. This summer we would do that and the next we could go there. Now all is just void and I really can say that at the moment I'm not looking forward to anything. I don't have dreams nor plans.

The very same thought has been running through my mind a lot too. What if she would've just died? Probably I still would've cursed how unfair life is so in a best scenario we would've crashed in a same car or had the same deadly disease. Now I think how come it's so easy for her to move on, what's there for her to smile about if not me? I used to make her smile so it simply can't be that someone else would be now, even though I want her to be happy.

I agree. Therapy is also about finding new ways to deal with issues along with opening things up, making yourself to be aware of them. It's about preparing yourself when something new comes up. When that happens, maybe you don't feel as small, useless nor powerless then. I don't want to bother those few mates I have with personal problems like this, in a way I can't even open up the way I'd like to or I would have to in order for me to let it all out.

Absolutely. The threshold is so high for one to go and see someone. I've noticed it myself now. But I'm definitely not against the idea and from time to time I feel that it could be the smartest thing I could do with my life at this point. Last summer I fixed my teeth so now it's probably time to get the rest of the head cleaned up. It's something a lot of people should do.

Well,just wanted to say that I can relate... although my little broken heart episode stems more from my mental health than something that happened in a relationship.  it is good to try to move on, although it was hard for me to because I always felt my feelings could never be as strong again... and that might even be true, but others are right (whether they are being nice or not) getting wrapped up in it in an

i got some good advice from QoB on this forum: ignore the ladies and (if they are really interested) they will come. at first i didn't believe it and just continued my emo crybaby behaviour. but girls smell this like a shark smells blood 50km away.

Last edited by heifetz (2011-04-26 17:25:05)

right, it doesnt matter if you like them.  just find a mate (anyone!) and remove the stigma of being alone from your life 

Run from me I'll chase after you, chase after me I'll run (?)

admitting your emo is the first step in recovery.  but why complain about it if its in your nature?  maybe you dont want to recover?  ill tell you this much, most women arent looking for someone to comfort.  theyre the ones who want to be comforted! 

meanwhile...

http://www.mydirtreport.com/mydirtrepor … 1/2mp2.jpg

"100% correct. finding chicks is the easiest when you are in a relationship"

i dont know i think being single esp in your older years is seen as deviant behavior culturally (ie homo or pedophile) and that combatting this perceived feeling of inferiority is the key to finding chicks and happiness, with or without a relationship.  i personally prefer being alone over hearing some chick nag and generally stinking up the place creating some rut for yourself you can never escape (if youre married) or consuming energy watching tv all the time.   but thats just me ataraxia/ Ne te quaesiveris extra

In my experience girls looking for a project are really just looking to vindicate\ validate their own warped feelings