Re: the broken hearts club

I think i wanna learn psychoanalysis so i can make all my future girls sane.
(I tend to fall into the insane ones. And lesbians, lots of lesbians and bisexuals. Maybe i'm a female lesbian in a man's body. Makes sense.)

http://fossa.bandcamp.com
Shitting in a lavatory, conducting experiments.
Farticles come near and disappear.

Re: the broken hearts club

heifetz wrote:

i got some good advice from QoB on this forum: ignore the ladies and (if they are really interested) they will come. at first i didn't believe it and just continued my emo crybaby behaviour. but girls smell this like a shark smells blood 50km away.

that's the best tip I've read here, thx Queen en heifetz  smile

"A Real Music Hater"

Re: the broken hearts club

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCGcAQ9nLiI[/youtube]

29 (edited by Scarface 2011-04-28 18:38:03)

Re: the broken hearts club

Although it's best to avoid interfering in politics and love I once learned....I want to say that:

Women choose men (not the other way round). So men are the chosen or unchosen ones which can be great or hard to accept.

"Are you loving?"

Re: the broken hearts club

I'd tell you my stories of lost love, but I'm afraid you'd all end up in therapy.

Re: the broken hearts club

Sounds interesting techni smile

And i watched that hypnosis video yesterday. I think the naighbours heard me laugh through my stone walls.

http://fossa.bandcamp.com
Shitting in a lavatory, conducting experiments.
Farticles come near and disappear.

Re: the broken hearts club

i am a very emotional person in many ways and cant see anything wrong with it. It doesn't mean that i am girly or some kinda drama queen. It just means that i feel much. It makes me feel myself a human. The other part is that i am also very controlled outside so the most of my emotional processes is kept inside if I feel like it. Most people would therefor probably say that I am very controlled and hard to read.

I find it strange when some think that men shouldn't talk about their emotions, especially when you are going through crises in your life. What should we be stone cold and silent?
It seems like the only comfort a man will get after a break up is that he shouldn't worry too much, he'll find a new girl soon enough.
So he might even believe it himself and buries his sorrows and finds a girl, in depth he got a lot unhandled unconscious feelings which will just mess things between him and the new girl and there you go.. he will just jump around his whole life from one girl to another without ever finding his place of warmth and security in himself.

And what about the girls? Are we guys supposed to be truthfully assholes that girls think is worth a shot to fix but fails every time? Some times i think men are such idiots. But yeah, sorry if I hurt anyones "feelings" by saying that wink

Paint the world in bloom,
Find a way to open all the joy in order to
Illuminate
Fireworks in the blue
You're the first and every child to show me where the real light is

building a wall inside
a wall round my heart
building a wall inside yeah

building a wall inside
a wall round my heart
building a wall inside yeah

Paint the world in bloom,
Find a way to open all the joy in order to
Illuminate
Fireworks in the blue
You're the first and every child to show me where the real light is
Shooow me where the real, light is

Orbital - Illuminate
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrzcgU-1rYk[/youtube]

Re: the broken hearts club

fossa and henri, like you guys i have never been looking for those short term relationships but looked for something steady. I think we are after a long life friendship, but its a bonus if we can fuck them too.. am i right? wink
If so, its perhaps what you should pay attention to at first place when you feel ready for the hunt again.

Meanwhile I find it mentally strengthening to train strength when I feel restless. But I am sure it can be some other type of activity where your body have to work. If you think its an idea but get dips in motivation I'd suggest to set up a schedule which you set your mind to think is as important as eating and sleeping.

Re: the broken hearts club

huxflux wrote:

i am a very emotional person in many ways and cant see anything wrong with it. It doesn't mean that i am girly or some kinda drama queen. It just means that i feel much. It makes me feel myself a human. The other part is that i am also very controlled outside so the most of my emotional processes is kept inside if I feel like it. Most people would therefor probably say that I am very controlled and hard to read.

I could relate to that. It's that selected handful of people to whom it's easy for me to really open up and tell about the things that are bothering me. Maybe even with the things that aren't bothering me but are just something in general, related to my life or not related at all, I often keep just to myself. It's easy to imagine if I do appear cold and distant. Not long ago I was spending an evening sitting around surrounded by a bunch or people that I felt that had anything in common with me so I basically shut myself out from the situation. I've also been said that I can be like a two different persons. I guess I've been keeping things and emotions inside of me for so long that I've become good at it. Building a mask - a happy face - that I can wear if needed.

huxflux wrote:

It seems like the only comfort a man will get after a break up is that he shouldn't worry too much, he'll find a new girl soon enough.
So he might even believe it himself and buries his sorrows and finds a girl, in depth he got a lot unhandled unconscious feelings which will just mess things between him and the new girl and there you go.. he will just jump around his whole life from one girl to another without ever finding his place of warmth and security in himself.

I think that was well said. Something just keeps bothering me about the words of comfort telling that you'll be fine, just get yourself a girl after another, they'll bury your sorrow in no time. I really want to overcome and deal this shit I've had within me for a long time now with some other way than just fucking around or somehow comforting myself with a thought that well, if that girl didn't want me, some other will. It becomes a vicious circle. I've just tried to keep myself from taking that path. As I've said in my last relationship I was rather possessive and jealous, which I think had roots in my uncertainty and low self-esteem. I want to keep that from spoiling the next thing I'd have.

huxflux wrote:

...like you guys i have never been looking for those short term relationships but looked for something steady. I think we are after a long life friendship, but its a bonus if we can fuck them too.. am i right? wink

Absolutely. You managed to find my point in all that. Call me old-fashioned, but I don't see anything wrong with settling down with the one. With the girl of your dreams, like in my case she was. I thought I had the one in my hands and she thought the same. Why else we planned our future such thoroughly? That's why it also felt so bad to realize that all those dreams came crushing down and I basically had to start from the square one. In a girl I search for someone to who I can comfort and someone who is willing to comfort me - it's that life long friendship you mentioned. Oh and a great fuck on top of all that.

The positive sides in all this are that I've started to read a lot again, found a ton of great music and movies. Something that I didn't have so much time for when I was with my girlfriend. In a way I've found myself again even though at the same time I'm more lost than I've ever been. I've tried to set my mind on the things that mean something to me. Lately we've been doing better with my ex and that's a lot comparing to how things were months ago when we couldn't stand each other. But the scary part is that I'm still very much attracted to her and I kind of hope that she would be too, haha.

You were just a damn sequencer
Moving to the beat
Living with a synthesizer
Cold as a repeat

Re: the broken hearts club

I guess that's the point where I differ from you guys: I'm not really "looking" for something. Not in the long term or "the real one" because I don't believe in that. I just want to experience as much as possible "peak moments" in life, and that goes for everything that I do: love, music, my other passions and art projects. Peak moments are my raison d'être. I'm intense in everything I do. But to fully enjoy those peak moments I have to experience the rough and depressing times too, there's no other way, I can even enjoy them because they're very inspiring. There is only one girl that frequently flashes through my mind but that is because we never talked out things when the relation ended, we even never saw each other again so I was never able to close it. But all the other women I had something with, whether it were relationships (short or long)or even one night stands, I always think back of those moments with joy and good memories. What you've had, you've had and they can never take it away from you (in Dutch: wat je gehad hebt heb je gehad, niemand kan het je dat nog afnemen)

"A Real Music Hater"

Re: the broken hearts club

My advice go get drunk for a few weeks with your friends.

THEN

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMtBpGqA1mU[/youtube]

You will feel better.

A paranoid is someone who knows a little of whats really going on.

Re: the broken hearts club

Again, i've been planning to write many times but haven't just had the energy and time to do it. Reading your stuff and going on with life has made a lot of stuff go round in my head.

First of all, Henri and Huxflux, don't pay attention to these ones calling you (or us) emo. What comes to being "emo" in the sense of being emotional - i hate the goths too wink - is what makes us human. I don't know where the fuck comes the assumption that men should keep their emotions inside. It's especially present here in Finland. We all have STRONG feelings unless you're a sociopath, and they can make people go crazy and dysfunctional if you suppress or deny them.

I've been very intrested again about psychology, probably as i'm going through some bad shit right now. I mean i'm mostly fine, but my head is constantly bumping into shitty thoughts and feelings, left by my breakup.
I've been wondering if i maybe have watched too much disney movies as a kid, plus that in my family emotions are not that openly expressed, that maybe i have built my life go around of finally someday finding a person i can say "i love you" to. I mean it kinda feels almost unrealistic that of all the LOT of things i do in my life felt suddenly insignificant during the time with her, and finding true love - and she was defi-fucking-nitely that to me - felt like all that i need in my life had been fulfilled. And now that it's gone, everything feels like some goddamn substitute activities. If i get a moments of time with only my thoughts, its suddenly a massive crave for just love someone.
It can't be normal. Or is it?
So anyways i've been doing a lot of looking into myself.
If it's possible, ill try to learn some basics of psychology and psychotherapy to try to understand myself a little better, and maybe understand my next women better. Maybe i can evade the possibility to fall in love with someone with a bipolar disorder again.

I saw her today btw. I was biking to this meeting about arranging this party in the summer and i was very excited. She walked by on the sidewalk. Don't know if she saw me but i just put my head down because i don't know if nodding or visibly ignoring her were either a good thing to do.
Instant shitty feeling sad Guess how inspiring the meeting was after that.

Huxflux, the Orbital song makes me feel very good right now. I've been listening that record now again a lot after many years. Even tough the lyrics hurt a bit, but the song has a very hopeful feel to it. Thanks.

http://fossa.bandcamp.com
Shitting in a lavatory, conducting experiments.
Farticles come near and disappear.

38

Re: the broken hearts club

Nothing wrong with feeling emotional when its warranted and it doesn't take over your life like in your case. When you find the one shouldn't she feel like youre the one too? I think in this regard women have the better judgement

Re: the broken hearts club

I want to add that being openly emotional is not the same thing as controlling your feelings or whining constantly about your feelings (it's allowed here tough wink ).

If that's emo, then so be it.

http://fossa.bandcamp.com
Shitting in a lavatory, conducting experiments.
Farticles come near and disappear.

40

Re: the broken hearts club

dude emo is not cool stop living in denial

Re: the broken hearts club

http://images.wikia.com/startrek/images/f/f9/Mirror_spock.jpg

"Hey Sweden."
"They're Norwegian Mac."
http://weforfeit.blogspot.com.es/

Re: the broken hearts club

I once was very much in love with a girl and had the greatest and worst time thinking about her. After a year of cherishing this feeling of being desperately in love I wrote and read her a poem to express my feelings towards her. She listened and found it very sweet and then she said she wasn't in love with me.... That hurted, but I'm glad I did it cause it did clear the air for me so I could carry on. I guess I was more in love with being in love with that girl than really trying to make contact with her. Maybe that's what you're doing also?


Time heals all wounds...so my love for her faded shortly after that decisive meeting.

"Are you loving?"

43 (edited by cebteq 2011-05-05 23:22:14)

Re: the broken hearts club

lol, reminds me of a good friend who was "emo" all through the 90s - good collection of records actually - anyway, he never had a girlfriend and finally he has one and she treats him like shit but its like he doesnt care.  pathetic actually

44 (edited by heifetz 2011-05-06 08:53:35)

Re: the broken hearts club

broken hearts take long to heal, but when it does, it will be stronger. i met the girl of my dreams when i was 20 and we were very close. I was in pieces when she returned from Canada only to tell to a living room full of relatives (incl me) that she met this wonderful guy during her stay there. she even showed pictures of the guy. i mean, WTF, she could have told me in private at least. I wanted to kill this curly haired canuck.

is that emo talk?

Re: the broken hearts club

cebteq wrote:

dude emo is not cool stop living in denial

I like The Appleseed Cast. Embrace the Emo.

46

Re: the broken hearts club

dont lie you llike my chemical romance

Re: the broken hearts club

SSRI = easy love

Re: the broken hearts club

cebteq wrote:

dont lie you llike my chemical romance

I know nothing about your chemical romance. please, do share with the rest of the class.

49

Re: the broken hearts club

spock hairdos

http://www.songonlyrics.com/wp-content/ … 10/769.jpg

Re: the broken hearts club

your band looks awesome but you all don't look so happy. that's a shame, I mean, you all have matching outfits, is there no camaraderie?