Re: the broken hearts club

another reason why fb is the work of babylon

177 (edited by Fossa 2011-11-15 09:40:37)

Re: the broken hearts club

Technicolor wrote:

Gah. Last week when Dopplereffekt was playing I saw that my ex was attending the event on fb. She doesn't even live here anymore. I had such a major freakout. First anxiety attack in over six months. I was nauseous for days. Then when the night finally came, I was a nervous wreck. Could barely eat that day. And what happened? She didn't show up! And I had a fantastic evening. The shit your brain pulls on you, I tell you... It aint even funny.

I know exactly how you feel.
The only reason i'm still a facebook friend with my ex, is so i can check out if she's coming to a party so i can skip it or tell her to stay the fuck away (luckily i haven't had to do either yet).

http://fossa.bandcamp.com
Shitting in a lavatory, conducting experiments.
Farticles come near and disappear.

Re: the broken hearts club

I think in the long run that might have been a better solution. Maybe it would dull the effect of running into her or seeing her name or photo. But I removed her after shit had gotten really bad, two years ago. All in all I'm doing progress. As long as I don't see her I'm pretty well. Maybe in a few more years it won't bother me at all  roll

Re: the broken hearts club

Thx for the kind words Fossa.

cebteq wrote:

if you wanted her for longer you shouda put a ring on it like beyonce says.

A ring might not have stopped her; a chain would have been better.

Ray Van Mechelen wrote:

it's not the factor "time" that heals the wounds, it's YOU who heals the wounds.

True; it'll take a while, but the active way is probably a better way to think about it.

Luckily I'm not on fb; won't be able to avoid seeing her though, as there is a big overlap in our sets of friends.

@ Fossa & Technicolor: did you ever try talking things out with your exes? Avoiding the confrontation all the time probably doesn't do much good no?

Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.

Re: the broken hearts club

On many many occasions. Far more than she'd like to. And then some. And it's still not enough for me. I don't want to alienate her further, it's not right. So I don't call her or talk to her in any form. But before she moved, two years ago we had a long talk and I began feeling better after that. And of course because I didn't have to worry about meeting her everywhere. But I guess I'm still not over it.

181

Re: the broken hearts club

jimmy jazz wrote:

@ Fossa & Technicolor: did you ever try talking things out with your exes? Avoiding the confrontation all the time probably doesn't do much good no?

At first i thought also that ok, i just have to numb myself about her and not avoid her, but i actually got some professional advice that it may be even better to just cut her off from my life if it's possible. I gain nothing from trying to be friends with her.

I did talk things through with her at first and i got a lot of clarity to everything, but eventually, after seeing her kissing someone else in a bar i just decided that i don't need this shit.

I do very well without her if and i do not want to be in any contact with her. Probably never ever again.

But it might be a totally different situtation if you have a lot of common friends. I do too, but not too much.

http://fossa.bandcamp.com
Shitting in a lavatory, conducting experiments.
Farticles come near and disappear.

182

Re: the broken hearts club

A chain?  Now youre talking!

183 (edited by coae 2011-12-12 12:42:34)

Re: the broken hearts club

in this lousy club now.

became best friend with a classmate, we almost live neighbours and walked to school everyday. really loved her as a friend and thought no good idea to get feelings, have to spend one year together and almost neighbours. so i tried but impossible she was very good looking and pleasant. a big romance evolved, she was already engaged, so went to my summer place this summer and tried to forget her. when the school would start i was some weeks late, and she started sending me text messages wondering where i was, when i would come back, if i met someone. the thing was that she would get married in september, but it was me she loved. when i came back we got together and she ditched that guy for me one week before the marriage. a big love evolved. we day dreamt about moving to the country. everything was fine, she thought she was pregnant, we where both glad. thought life had turned for the better, thought she was the one.

life was good..then.. she found out she had cancer. and things started to derail, we started to quarrel over nothing and she started drinking to much every weekend. stress over if she had to make a forced abortion when she would get the surgery.
the surgery went fine, she wasn't pregnant. the relationship had got a crack because of all the unnecessary argument,
but both agreed that we loved each other and it was nothing that couldn't be fixed, and things started to turn in the right
direction again.

but.. then she found out the cancer had spread and everything turned to complete destructive chaos. she said she would refuse the chemotherapy and started drinking heavy. we got in a fight almost every day. she started to treat me bad, lying. felt like i was the only one who cared about the situation. she only wanted to forget. i've never have had a more stressful month in my life, trying to convince her while she drank reality away. a normal person would probably lay down stare in the roof when getting the cancer news. not her she wanted to party, have fun and dull the pain with alcohol. guess she got tired of me trying to talk some sense to her. in her eyes i turned in to a depressed, tired and boring guy, who only nagged and made her think about the reality. and guess i was, knowing she was slowly committing suicide.

now its all over. think she meet some guy who don't care and don't remind her about the situation. she's very good looking *hot* and know how to use it, tries to play me. she sent a text message last week about how she miss me, wanted to see me, and that there was no other, but saw her the day after whit some guy. she have told me some about her background, a crazy life to say the lest. first thing i notice was when i meet an old x, a 50 year old know criminal who offered me protection, was surprised that i dint knew who he was apparently everyone in this town knew him and said don't me worry about him, if he was interested in my girl he would cut of my legs cool. anyway she had left that life behind years ago, and had a normal life now, but when the chaos started she's become a lying psychopathic viper guess back to the old ways. paid her rent when she was sick 6000 sek with is a miner fortune when unemployed. auf wiedersehen, probably spent them in the the pub/ on cab rides. hard living neighbours, walking by her apartment wanting to get in, missing the time before the chaos. saw she made christmas decorations.. sad love her still and miss her so much its hurts.

in one stressful, depressing month, one year of close friendship and big love went down the drain.

Re: the broken hearts club

i feel sorry for you both. If it's any consolation, just remember you did all you could to love and help but she could not accept love because she hated herself. She needs professional mental help.

185 (edited by coae 2011-12-12 15:11:29)

Re: the broken hearts club

thanks. everything went so fast. it's easy to start blaming my self, what did i do wrong, guilty of nagging, being boring and tired i guess. but felt like i was the only one that reacted in normal in this depressing situation, even loosed weight because of all this 250km/h crazy destructive party stress. everybody in her life are happy (and a bit ruff) people who quite frankly don't care.

yes she needs professional help, self-destructive. happy if she would have gotten any. but she's become a crazy lying bitch. it was impossible to talk to her. this and that, and this and that, manage to convince her to get the treatment one evening, she was gone go the next day. we went to bed early, that morning she would get a ride to the hospital. she showered and all that, we hugged and said goodbye. glad she finally got to her senses. it turned out she had went home instead. in the end everyday was the same routine. don't quite know the situation now if she taken any treatment or not, know she got some anti depressive pills but don't think she started taking them. if she meet someone else who, if she plans to go (run) away abroad (she have talked about that), if the cancer can be treated or she gone die in soon. don't know anything. both became good friend with a teacher, a good person, and i was hoping he could convince her to go to school just to break this destructive routine. but she don't gives a fuck about him (answer his calls) or anything, anybody. she would have finish with top grades but now she even wont get any. one year in school to waste.

we said, whatever happen we would always be friends. now she treats me like shit, if i had beat her, sheeted or
something like that this would be normal behaviour. she have sent me some text messages saying that she miss me, feel a bit better now and gone call the next day, but she doesn't. now she don't even answer my text messages. think it because she owns me money and she have fallen back in her old life and gone cheat me on my money.

its hard as hell. from normal to this in so short time. i loved her and she was very much in love with me now it feels like she hates me like i have done something. she fucks everybody who cares about her, running away to her happy carefree pub friends.

Re: the broken hearts club

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENwuDtUa0Gg[/youtube]

big_smile

The sooner you get used to the idea crazy girls are no good you will feel better.  cool

I hope this helps too.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRXXsKJsd5Q[/youtube]

A paranoid is someone who knows a little of whats really going on.

187 (edited by coae 2011-12-13 21:10:19)

Re: the broken hearts club

hehe smile thx leo! fell much better a once (not)

i guess so, but everything was fine until november, life was good, plans for the future. most def the girl with the craziest background/friends i've ever known. she told me a story, some years back her brother had started messing with a gang syrians (lots of immigrants in this town). they had went to his home later, kicked in the door and.... the day after when she found out her brother was in the hospital. she made some phone calls to find out who it was, and went to the roughest area in this shit hole of a town knocked on the door. they - oh its you what are you doing here, frisk searched her (or what's its called) she - you forgot about this, pulled out her ... from her backpack, put it on the table and said you mess with the wrong brother. she made them pay a whole year of salary in fine.. many stories.. i've felt like one of those prison girlfriend sometimes cool

miss her, was on a date this evening, but thought about her still.
long since i loved a girl so much.

Re: the broken hearts club

"The sooner you get used to the idea crazy girls are no good you will feel better."

but they are so much hotter than "normal" girls.

When it comes to broken hearts, I always think about this Dutch line: liefdesverdriet is geen alleenrecht (having a broken heart is not an exclusive right), makes it all more easier and last but not least: more realistic.

"A Real Music Hater"

Re: the broken hearts club

i think a person needs a broken heart before they can start a normal relationship that will last for decades. it takes the pressure of great expectations off your shoulders.

Re: the broken hearts club

Wow, I should be super prepared in that case. Unfortunately I think I have trust issues because of it...

191 (edited by coae 2011-12-14 21:15:51)

Re: the broken hearts club

the last time i she was here we talked about the situation and getting back to how it was. she wanted it and said the she loved me, just gone go home (across the street) and get the cat (our cat) be right back.. she never returned. that was that, hard...
my heart is broken, hard as hell but the most irritating thing is the big question mark what the f... happen? she was so madly in love with me, lots of negative stuff but nevertheless okay between us one week earlier. its nagging so much i'm going nuts, have to find out.

Re: the broken hearts club

I feel pretty broken hearted about waiting for this monomachine to arrive. I traded my machinedrum with a friend for it about a month ago, and it keeps on getting delayed....


Relationships are a no-go in my life until I make more music.

193

Re: the broken hearts club

^^hope your friend doesn't smoke rocks

hey i just bought a record off Freak on here and he included a 7inch by Bankie Phones, is that you?
aside sorry girl, we gotta listen to miami bass first
bside yeah its cool, i'm just gonna cry while watching eraserhead

keep hackney crap

194 (edited by Bankie Phones 2011-12-15 00:44:26)

Re: the broken hearts club

Yes it is, i put that out a few years ago with a tax rebate because i was sorta heartbroken over a girl. wink There also are some locked grooves on it.

I trust my friend isn't into rocks,  he was having some issues with his bank account and stuff, but its one of those things where i just really want it to be here now.

195 (edited by heifetz 2011-12-16 08:30:00)

Re: the broken hearts club

2 ways to love: with your dick or your brain. choose one cuz you really can't have it both ways.

well, you can but that is rare and happens once in 100 years. the stuff of romance films.

Re: the broken hearts club

always waiting for facebook message from girl who already made it clear she didn't want to date.  maybe I'll find another girl, maybe next one will be online dating like I'm used to and I'll be always waiting for her message.  My only motivation is to have someone want me... but I can't put 2 and 2 together and change myself to be more wantable... and I don't think I should have to!  Wish I knew what passion was outside of longing

197 (edited by Ray Van Mechelen 2011-12-20 07:03:57)

Re: the broken hearts club

dating women is not an internet thing, it happens in reality, I wouldn't make this FB thing more important than it is, it's just a tool. Just go out and do stuff outside and you'll meet plenty of women.

"A Real Music Hater"

198

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heifetz wrote:

another reason why FB is the work of babylon

Yes I!

Strictly Rockaas

199 (edited by Fossa 2011-12-22 14:38:42)

Re: the broken hearts club

I've been supposed to comment your posts, especially coae's, but have been super busy to get into these.
And now i'm in a turbulence myself again.

In a nutshell, the super beautiful dancer girl i went out for a while, i met her yesterday. We decided to split and be friends as we didn't see each other for a while and both kinda found someone other in the meanwhile.
The shit this time is, that somehow i've managed to develop strong feelings for her, which i lack for the other girl i've been going out with.

Now i have to break up with the other one, cope with the frustration of seeing the other one no more, and this is my last day at work (which is kinda positive, but leaves me sitting all the days home alone).
So i have triple anxiety going on.

I really wish i really were a robot so i could press the "emotions off" -button when i want.

Ray is right about the crazy girls being so much hotter. The diagram that shows the options "emotionally stable", "good looking" and "intelligent" and a text "pick one" really applies to life.

Except that after these past days i would maybe add an option to the diagram, "makes you feel in love". Because if you find the perfect one, i fucking bet you can't develop feelings towards her. Like me here.

Shit. Maybe it's me who's crazy.

http://fossa.bandcamp.com
Shitting in a lavatory, conducting experiments.
Farticles come near and disappear.

Re: the broken hearts club

I prefer drugs than love